


Just Talk To Me!

by Nanerich



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Everybody Knows AU, Good Morgana (Merlin), M/M, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), banned from camelot, but he's just trying his best, gwen is too good for this world, gwen's a good friend, merlin puts her through a bit of bull, seriously, the knights are good bros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22693114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanerich/pseuds/Nanerich
Summary: After publicly saving Arthur, Merlin is banned from Camelot.Which is already bad enough, but Arthur refusing to speak to him is so much worse.
Relationships: Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin & Morgana (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 204





	1. Chapter 1

“Good morning, Gwen.”

“Oh, come on, not again!” She didn't have to open her eyes to know that she was a) no longer in Camelot, where she had gone to bed, and b) exactly who she had to thank for that. “Merlin, seriously? Again?” When she eventually did open her eyes, she found her friend sitting by the bed, looking ever so sheepishly.

“I take it you're not happy to see me then?”

“You know I am. But you do realize this is the third time this month you kidnapped me, right?”

At that he turned beet-red. “Is it really kidnapping if we're friends? Oh, here by the way.” He held out a cup to her.

“Thanks.” She gratefully took it, and to let him stew a little more, she took a few extra slow sips of the water, before setting the cup down on the bedside table.

“So, how's Camelot?”

“A lot quieter since you left.”

“I didn't leave”, Merlin corrected her, “Arthur banned me, remember?”

“Yes, because Uther wanted to execute you. He saved your life.”

“Fine”, Merlin admitted, “but that's only fair given how often I've saved his.”

And there he was sat, allegedly the most powerful sorcerer in existence, moping in his little shack. Gwen was definitely not in the mood for that right now and was just about to scoff at him, when he changed the subject.

“How's Gaius?” He sounded worried, ashamed even.

“He's ok. A little lost without you and misses you. A lot.”

“I miss him, too”, he mumbled quietly and turned away for a moment, trying to hide his face and the fact that he was about to cry.

As annoying as him regularly abducting her was, she got it, in a weird way. It's been four months since that sorcerer strutted right into Camelot. Four months, since he had Arthur on his knees in the middle of the market place for all to see. Four months, since Merlin swooped in, magic blazing, taking down the warlock, that had defeated the entire Knights of Camelot, with barely breaking a sweat. Four months, since all they thought they knew about their friend turned to smoke. And four months, since Arthur didn't even graze him with as much of a glance, as Merlin was escorted to the city gates to leave Camelot, never to return.

“Anyways, you hungry?” His smile was clearly forced but Gwen knew better than to keep pushing something that she better left alone.

“I am”, she nodded, smiling right back. “Do you still have some of your mother's strawberry jam?”

“Sorry”, he shrugged skewly, “that's empty. But the boysenberry one is just as good.”

“Sounds perfect. How is your mother?”

“She's good. Happy to have me close again, as sad as she is about the circumstances but well.” He gave a half-hearted shrug and walked over to the cupboard. “She comes by every few days to make sure I'm alright and to try and convince me to move to Ealdor again.”

“But that's not what you want?” She walked up to the shelf and got the plates. She had been here often enough to know her way around the little hut.

“Well, what I want is to come back. But then Uther would have my head and I kind of like it where it is. So for now I'm content with inviting you over...” One sharp look from Gwen was enough to make him blush and correct himself. “Ok, fine, abducting you, until maybe one day that royal clotpole of a pratty prince talks to me.” He turned his back to her, but Gwen could easily recognize the mix of shame, anger and hurt as his shoulder tensed.

“If it makes you feel better, as creepy as it is that you take me in my sleep, it's pretty nice that I at least get to see you every now and then.”

“Yeah, sorry about the creepiness...” Blushing deep red he had his head hung low.

“You better be sorry! But, knowing what I know about your... feelings... I know to be a lot less creeped out. It is excessively annoying, though.”

“I know... Well, talking about feelings...” Something mischievous glinted in his eye. “Last week I remember a certain Sir Lancelot being very affectionate towards his damsel in distress...”

“Merlin!” She boxed his arm at that suggestive grin and tried to fight the blush that was creeping up her face.

“Gwen, that guy is enamoured like nobody's business. But, from the looks of it, he isn't pining in vain, is he?”

“You are impossible”, she scoffed, grabbed a piece of bread, the jam and turned on her heel to make herself comfortable on the bench. Of course, Merlin was absolutely right, but that was nothing Gwen was about to admit to her kidnapper.

“Don't be embarrassed! Lancelot's a hell of a guy.” His own plate full, he dropped down next to her, grinning from ear to ear.

That endless optimism... Gwen hadn't even realized how much she had missed that and this wide beaming smile, that just made everything seem like it was alright.

“You're staring”, he remarked eventually.

Not knowing what to say, she just smiled and took a bite out of her breakfast and changed the topic. “So, how long until my rescuers show up, you think?”

“Well, last time Sir Knight in shining armour Lancelot showed up just before sunset.”

Deciding to ignore the comment, she just shrugged. “So, what are we gonna do all day long then?”

Eventually they just spend all day talking, Gwen telling Merlin everything that had happened since she last was here, catching him up to all the Camelot gossip. And just like that, time flew by until, around late afternoon, the trappling sound of horses came close.

Merlin had barely opened the door, when he was swept up in strong arms. “MERLIN!”

“Hey Gwaine”, he laughed once he identified he mess of brown hair. “Still not into personal grooming, I see.”

“I will chuck that up to jealousy”, he shot back as he let go of Merlin, flipping his hair back.

“Don't expect me to be that eager to greet you, after you abducted my sister. Again”, Elyan made clear, his eyebrow raised, the grin shone right through though.

“It's not like I was in danger”, Gwen came to his rescue and wrapped her arm around her brother's before locking eyes with Lancelot.

“Hi Gwen”, he smiled, with heart eyes that could not be more obvious.

“Lancelot”, she smiled back.

Merlin decided to let the lovebirds be and address what had him only mildly concerned. For between Leon, Lancelot, Gwaine, Percival and Elyan there was one knight missing; the one knight, Merlin had pulled this entire stint for. The one knight that never bothered to come.

“Sorry, Merlin.” Leon offered him a weak smile. “But I got these for you.” He handed him two letters. One, clearly in Gaius' scribbled handwriting, the other with the actual royal seal...

“Morgana”, Leon explained, before Merlin could voice his astonishment. “They both send you their best wishes, hope you're doing well and miss you.”

“Please tell them the same”, Merlin smiled back, pushing the little voice about a certain prat not bothering to even send a hello, way down. “Well, come on in then, and I'll get dinner ready.”


	2. Chapter 2

Just after sunrise and an almost tearful goodbye, the knights with Gwen in tow, rode off, back towards Camelot. Merlin just about waited until the hooves went silent, until he couldn't hold out on opening the letters any more. He had barely opened the one from Gaius, when the tears already started rolling down his cheek.

.

_My dear boy,_

_as much as I'd like to, I will not cuss you out for being an idiot, I am sure you are quite aware of that yourself._

_That being said, I miss you very much and life is a little bland ever since my favourite idiot has been gone._

_Fine, that was a lie. It is more than just a little bland._

_I am searching for the right words to express how much I miss you and how much you mean to me. Unfortunately they do not want to come to me. And I unfortunately do not have a lot of time, since the knights are about to ride out to you and Guinevere._

_I will ask Leon if one of the knights would be so kind as to accompanying me to your abode in the forest, if you would enjoy this of course._

_The knights are calling, they are leaving to pick up the damsel in distress._

_Be save. And know that you're missed and loved._

_With all the best,_

_Gaius_

* * *

_Hello Merlin,_

_I hope you are doing well and that you're settling in in your new life._

_Camelot misses you a lot; as do I. Life is just a little less joyous and quirky and I do miss that._

_It might be a weird request, but next time you decide to take somebody in the hope Arthur would finally talk to you, would you mind choosing me? I know it's a lot to ask, given that Uther already wants to have your head and taking his ward would be dangerous, so I completely understand if you do not want to._

_There are just some things I would like to talk with you about that feel wrong to ask in writing._

_So, if you'd be willing to speak with me and offer me some advice, I will come to the city gates in two days just after nightfall._

_I hope to see you then._

_In friendship,_

_Morgana_

* * *

This was a trap. It had to be a trap! Why else would Uther's ward lure him to the city gates under some mysterious circumstances?

Then again, Merlin was unfortunately a very curious person and he did trust Morgana enough not to be in on this, especially since during his 'trial', she rallied for Uther's mercy, even more so than Arthur did.

It was still a dangerous game, and Merlin snuck as carefully and quietly as he could towards the gates, where he already saw the familiar figure standing.

“Morgana”, he whispered in greeting and she wrapped herself around his shoulders.

“Merlin, it is wonderful to see you”, she smiled. “Let us leave, before anybody realized me missing, though”, Morgana urged him.

Merlin allowed himself only one last glance at the city gates, he hadn't seen in almost half a year, and he was just dying to storm through them, to Gaius' chambers for a calming hug and talk with his father figure, before waltzing into the Prince's chambers and telling that prat how much he missed him. But since that was not going to happen, he linked his arm with Morgana's and led her to the horse he had left a little way back into the wood.

“As much as I would like to talk about why you came to me and what exactly is going on, I do not necessarily like the woods at night, so we best make haste and you can tell the story once we're in the comfort of my new home, don't you agree?”

“I do”, she smiled and held tight onto him as they rode of the dark of night. Thankfully, he didn't have to hide his supernatural abilities any more and cast a flame that lit up the way before them.

“Wow”, she sighed, “it is so beautiful.”

“Thanks.” He would have liked to chat some more, but talking to somebody sitting behind him, while they were galloping through the forest was just one task to many to juggle at the moment.

But knowing that she truly believed his magic to be something beautiful and something worth being in awe of, brushed away the last few doubts he had about this being a trap.

.

“Here.” He handed her a steaming cup. “It's nettle, nicer than just pure water and definitely good to warm up after a long ride.”

“Thank you, Merlin”, she smiled and gratefully took a sip. “Delicious.”

“Thanks, Gaius taught me.” He sat on the bench opposite her. “Well, whenever Gwen was here, the knights usually showed up just before sunset. I do believe that since you are the one visiting, Uther will be more adamant about you coming back right away, so they won't be here later than lunch time.”

“So I should probably tell you what it is I wanted to see you for. Fine, here goes.” Morgana took a deep breath, before locking eyes with Merlin. Eyes, that suddenly turned golden as all the candles in his room caught flame.

“You have magic.” Oh wow. “You're like me”, he beamed and for a minute forgot everything about Camelot, Uther and the dangers of their abilities.

“When you saved Arthur's life like that, I just... I just thought I needed to talk to you. But I was scared”, she admitted, looking down on her fingers again. “And ashamed. Being a sorceress? As Uther's ward? Especially since I am taught that all magic is evil. But then... Gwen told me about the little tricks you did, when she was here.” The pain in Morgana's face made way for something more joyful. “And I don't know what I hope to achieve with us meeting and talking about it, I just know it had to be.”

“I can tell you one thing for sure”, he smiled, close to tears. “You are not alone. That pain, that shame and fear... You don't have to be Uther's ward or the Prince's servant to feel like that; I felt that long before I came to Camelot.”

“Oh, Merlin”, Morgana just sighed, as the tears filled her eyes, too. “I'm so glad I wrote to you.”

“Me too”, he choked and, before he knew it, Morgana had wrapped herself around him in a tight embrace.

Merlin lost time; them being in each other's arms like that, letting out all the bottled up feelings of their situation was something quite amazing. It was trust on the upmost level, an unspoken agreement, maybe even partnership in a way, connecting them. And that not just through them sharing these powers, but through that very trust and understanding.

“You know, if we do nothing else but hug until eventually the knights arrive, me coming here will not have been in vain”, Morgana chuckled, as she eventually broke away.

“I feel the same way”, he smiled and squeezed her hand. “Oh, I wish I would have known back when I still lived in Camelot; we could have practised together, I could have introduced you to Kilgarrah... Wait.” Merlin felt his eyes lighting up, when realization hit. “I can still do that! Come with me!”

He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her after himself out of the hut. “Now, don't be shocked.” There was no way he could prepare her for what was about to happen, so it would be best to just show her.

As loud as he could, he called for the dragon, using the spell that was only his and Kilgarrah's.

“Merlin?”, she eventually asked, when he went quiet again, “what is going on?”

Perfectly timed, Merlin heard the oh so familiar flapping sound of the wings coming closer, and he just pointed upwards.

And Morgana's face fell into pure shock and disbelief.

“Why have you summoned me, young warlock? As I take it, you have failed your destiny.”

“How wonderful to see you, too”, Merlin scoffed. “Kilgarrah, this is the Lady Morgana. Morgana, this is Kilgarrah.”

“Lady Morgana, what a surprise.”

“A dragon.”

“Yes, mylady, your powers of observation are astounding”, the dragon chuckled. “It is wonderful to meet you, though it does seem like the young Dragonlord is using me as a kind of party trick.” He turned to Merlin, eyeing him somewhat curiously and almost angrily.

“I believe, summoning you after finding out that King Uther's ward has magic does count as a sort of emergency, don't you agree?”

“Ah, you finally found out. Well, at least somebody at the king's court knows how to keep a secret.”

“Oh really? What the hell was I supposed to do? Let that wizard just kill Arthur? Then what about my destiny?”

“I feel compelled to remind you that your plan has still failed.”

“But at least the damn prince is alive to actually found Albion.” That dragon, as much as Merlin liked him, could really get on his nerves.

Morgana, on the other hand, was still taken in with the dragon, bickering with Merlin.

“I was told there were no more dragons”, she wondered, as she took two steps towards Kilgarrah.

“There are only two of my kind, thanks to your king. There is me, and there is Aithusa, the white dragon.”

“I'm so terribly sorry, what Uther has done to your kind.” She looked up at Kilgarrah, and it seemed to Merlin that she was almost tearing up again.

“And I am terribly sorry, what he has done to your kind.” The dragon offered her a small smile, prompting her to cautiously reach up and trail her hand over the hard scales.

“We don't seem to be so different.”

“And once the world has accepted us all for who and what we are, Emrys over here can fulfil his and Arthur's destiny and found the country of Albion; where everybody is free to live their life, away from shame, hiding and prejudice.”

“That sounds like a wonderful dream.”

“Who knows, maybe one day this dream could become reality.” Kilgarrah turned to Merlin, nodded at the warlock and, without another word, he jumped into the air, flying off towards where he had come from.

“Thank you, Merlin.” Morgana grabbed his arm and squeezed it, as she watched the dragon fly away. “I can't even begin to tell you how much this all means to me.”

“You and me both.”

.

The few hours they had left were spent with little displays of power; mostly creating flames of all the colours of the rainbow, forming them, letting them dance through the little hut.

“I can't thank you enough for showing me the beauty that is magic”, Morgana beamed, as a purple flame danced over her fingers.

Not sure what to say to that, Merlin conjured a bright green one with the flick of his fingers, letting it hover between them. “Uther thinks that magic is nothing but destruction”, he remarked eventually. “But that's not true; magic is creation, it's life, it's beauty, it's healing.”

With each of his points, he conjured a new flickering light and by the end of his sentences, he and Morgana had an entire rainbow of colourful flames dancing between them, entangling, circling; it didn't take the pair long to find a rhythm, a choreography to which they let the flames move.

“I assume this is what that country of Albion, the dragon spoke of is supposed to be like?”

“Yes”, Merlin sighed, locking in on a bright red flame; red, the colour of Camelot. “It was shortly after I arrived at the castle that Kilgarrah lured me into his dungeon and told me about my destiny; mine and Arthur's actually. We apparently are the two different sides of the same coin and that once Arthur will take the throne, he will create this utopia of a world, where all beings, magical or not, will live together in harmony.”

“Wow.” Morgana was silent for a moment; from the corner of his eyes Merlin watched as she spun a blueish flame, before speaking again. “How is this Albion to come into being?”

“That is a good question. Unfortunately, that dragon seems to be allergic to straight answers”, he scoffed. “Besides, for now I should probably work on that prat actually talking to me.”

“He hasn't visited you once, has he?” Morgana let go of the blue flame, that lined itself back into the circle of colours in their middle, and put her hand on his arm. “I'm sorry.”

“I knew he wouldn't take it well, but this bad?” Letting out a deep sigh, Merlin just dropped his head. After all Merlin had done for him... “I saved his life”, he pressed out eventually, trying not to cry, “countless times. And I don't even deserve being spoken to?”

“I truly am so sorry.” She scooted a little closer to his side and squeezed his hands. “I don't know if it is of any solace, but Arthur is miserable, too. And I've been trying to get that idiot to come and talk to you, but you know how he is.” With a roll of her eyes, Morgana shrugged.

“Unfortunately, I do”, Merlin chuckled and wiped the tear, that had made it's way down his cheek, away. “I should have never come to like that arrogant clotpole.”

“It probably wouldn't be this bad if you only liked him.”

“Right. If it weren't enough that a servant developed feelings for his Prince, he also has to be a damn warlock, in a kingdom where magic is forbidden.”

“However, if the Prince developed similar feelings”, she threw in, with a badly concealed grin, “maybe it all is under a good star.”

“And what about the Prince shunning and ignoring the Warlock for almost six months gives you the impression that he does feel the same?” Merlin couldn't help the bitter sound to his voice, not that he would want to mask it. All this anger, frustration, bitterness, it was deserved.

“Nothing I can say will convince you of the truth, which is that Arthur does harbour feelings for you. So all I ask of you, is to keep my words in mind and that one day I'll get to say:”, she turned to face him with a mischievous grin, “I told you so.”


	3. Chapter 3

It was late the next morning, when the trappling sound of hooves interrupted his and Morgana's conversation.

“Here they are.”

“Merlin, I can't even begin to describe how much these last hours have meant to me.”

“To me as well”, he beamed, and squeezed her hands. “Thank you for reaching out and trusting me.”

“I do not have reasons not to trust the great and wise Emrys, now, do I?”, she laughed.

“You do not”, he chuckled and got up, to open the door for the knights.

He had no chance to do anything like that, though, as it flew open and in stormed Prince Arthur, glaring at him more furiously than was his usual go to “Who the hell do you think you are?”

Well, seeing Arthur again for the first time in almost half a year definitely went not as smoothly as Merlin had hoped for.

“Hello Arthur, welcome to my home. Would you like to...”

“MERLIN!” The prince was beet-red in his anger, admittedly intimidatingly so.

“Arthur, calm yourself, will you?” Morgana walked up to him and put her hands on his arm. “Screaming won't solve anything.”

“This is not your fight”, he hissed, “so saddle up, we're leaving.”

She let go of Arthur and instead wrapped her arms around Merlin in a tight hug. “Thank you”, she whispered.

“Remember”, he smiled, “you're not alone.”

She smiled widely, gratefully at him before turning and leaving the hut. Arthur motioned to follow her, but it only took a flick of Merlin's wrist to let the door close right behind Morgana.

“Merlin!” He turned around and boy, if he wasn't mad earlier, he was now. “Do you know who I am?”

“For heaven's sake, would you please stop pulling rank and talk to me, damnit!” Wow. Merlin had never yelled at the prince like that before and from he shocked grimace Arthur pulled, he was just as surprised at that outburst as Merlin was. He had to admit though, it felt incredibly good.

“What is there to talk about?” Realising, Merlin wasn't going to let him get out of this, Arthur took a step towards Merlin as he spoke. “You lied to me. You repeatedly broke the highest law in Camelot. And now, after I saved your life from my father, you're welcome by the way, you keep on kidnapping my friends.”

“They're my friends, too.” Ouch. Just because he was a sorcerer, he wasn't deserving of Gwen, Morgana and the knights' friendship any more? “Besides, this isn't about me lying.”

“The hell it isn't! Merlin, I trusted you! With everything, more than I've ever trusted anybody! But I guess that trust was one sided, was it?”

“Well, how could I trust a guy with that, who basically thinks I'm a useless moron?”, Merlin shot back. He hated how bitter he sounded, but he couldn't help it. “It wasn't about trust, either.”

“Then what? Do you think I'd have my father kill you, really?”

“I didn't want to have to put you in that exact position. Lying to your father, the court... I didn't want to put you through the agony of this knowledge, because I saw how much it gnawed on Gaius, on Lancelot...”

“Wait, so Lancelot knew? Gaius knew?” Focusing on the exact wrong point Merlin was trying to make, the prince got angrier and angrier.

“Can you please listen”, Merlin groaned, “you're exactly missing what I'm trying to say: I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to have to choose between me and your father!” Maybe this way the clotpole would get it.

“What?”

Did Merlin have to draw him a picture? “I care about you, a lot. You could say it's my destiny to be there for you.” He took another step towards Arthur, trying to look the sincerest he possibly could, just stopping short of reaching out, grabbing the prince's hands, no matter how much he craved the touch. “You're probably the most important person in my life. And I guess, I just wanted to... I don't know...”

He dropped his gaze and looked on his hands, as he fidgeted nervously with his fingers.

“What?” Arthur's voice was still commanding, yet so much softer and gentler than only moments ago. Looking up, Merlin found Arthur's eyes locked onto him, searching for something. Maybe this was it, this might be the moment to come clean and put everything out there. Not just the magic, but also...

“What?” Arthur repeated again, even softer this time and got another step closer to Merlin. They were mere centimetres apart and Merlin would only have to lean in a little bit for their lips to meet. He couldn't help but keep staring into Arthur's eyes, who's gaze only dropped momentarily to Merlin's lips, before he too looked up again.

Nobody dared to break the silence, neither had to. Everything that had to be said passed wordlessly between them.

Eventually, it was Arthur to break the silence. “Merlin.”

“Arthur”, he sighed back, hopeful that maybe the prince would say something meaningful.

“Please stop.” Arthur took a step or two back and broke their gaze, endlessly sad. “Just... stop.”

“Stop what? Trying to get you, my _friend_ , to talk to me?”

“Yes.” Arthur looked back up, the sadness making way for determination and a look, void of all emotion. “I would like to move on, and so should you.”

“Move on from what?” Merlin walked back towards Arthur. “From being at your beg and call all hours of the day? From having a damn dragon tell me to look out for you, to keep on saving you? From being afraid for my life every single day? From being poisoned, stabbed, beaten, taken, almost dying every other week? After doing all that for you, you don't even want to talk to me, so please tell me, Prince Arthur. How the hell am I supposed to move on?”

Silence fell back over the hut. Even as the Prince tried to make sense of Merlin's speech, Merlin didn't break eye contact. It was something between determination and defiance that motivated him. And it felt good to say all this, as scared as he was of Arthur's reaction.

Arthur just dropped his head with a loud sigh. “Please, just... stop.” With that, he turned around and left Merlin in his shack by himself.

It has been long since the door closed behind Arthur and the sound of the horses hoof's had long gone silent, but Merlin still stood like frozen, staring at the wooden door.


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin loved his mother, he really did. Sometimes, she could be a bit much though. Especially these last few months, ever since Arthur made very clear what he thought of Merlin and whatever relationship they might have had. Not that Merlin had told his mother about this, but she was his mother, and knew how to read Merlin like a wide opened book.

“Just come back home”, she had said, time and time again. “Don't hold on to something or someone who doesn't want to be held onto. Start fresh, back home.”

“Because 'starting fresh' and 'at home' go together all that well”, he scoffed with a roll of his eye, thusly starting a lengthy discussion.

“Alright”, he eventually threw in, “I'll think about it.”

Not that Hunith would believe it, but at least this – quite pointless – discussion found an end and after a teary good-bye, reassuring Merlin over and over how much he was loved, mother left for Ealdor again and with a heavy sigh, Merlin dropped on a chair.

Maybe she had a point. After months of pining, heartbreak and most certainly misplaced hopes, he was exactly where he had been, when Leon escorted him to the Camelot gates. Besides, Merlin was turning more and more into the stereotypical hermit wizard, who hid himself from the world and his responsibilities.

Oh, he had turned into his father. Merlin couldn't help but chuckle at his revelation. Yes, probably it was time to move on.

Just then the door opened again behind him. “Mother, did you forget anyth...”

“Hello, Merlin.”

At the sound of the voice that did definitely not belong to Hunith, but Arthur, Merlin froze in his movement.

Arthur was here. In his hut.

Slowly, he turned to the prince, who awkwardly stood in the door.

“Arthur.”

Neither knew how to start the conversation, they just stared at each other. It's been almost three months since Arthur had come to fetch Morgana. Three months, since Arthur had left him, seemingly forever. Three months, and that blonde prat with his stupidly beautiful blue eyes had been on Merlin's mind every single day. Stupidly beautiful blue eyes that were locked onto Merlin's.

“Come in”, he eventually broke the tense silence, gesturing at his humble abode, not looking away though.

“Thanks.” It was Arthur who broke their gaze, as he closed the door behind him and walked into the room. Not as forward and proud as his stride usually was, Merlin would almost call it shuffling.

“Can I offer you something?”

“You're not my servant any more.”

“But a good host”, he shrugged, and turned to fetch the prince a glass of water. “I'm just glad I'm not your servant any more”, he added with a scoff, before the chuckle bubbled through. “I heard you're going through three of them a week.”

Arthur stayed quiet and took the cup Merlin held out to him.

Well, the ball was in Arthur's corner. Merlin didn't think that the prince would actually come back, it was commendable to say the least. But Merlin had said everything he had to say last time, had told Arthur everything. Well, almost. But it was more than Arthur had said. So Merlin waited.

“Listen”, Arthur eventually got out. “I don't know what to say here. I just know that I should say something, but I don't know what it is.”

“How about you tell me how you're feeling”, Merlin suggested with a shrug, and already prepared himself mentally for being cussed out as an emotional little girl.

Instead, Arthur just sighed. “There have been a lot of feelings for the last few months. At first there was confusion. Thinking, that evil warlock must have played a trick on me, because no way you were a sorcerer.”

_Thank you, Arthur, for that ringing endorsement._

“But then, when Father sentenced you to...” Instead of finishing the sentence, he swallowed hard. “Fear, pain and a lot of anger mixed in with that. All of which have been my constant companions over the last months.”

The anger, Merlin got. Same with the pain. But... “Fear?”

Turning his back to Merlin, Arthur sat on the bench. “At first it was fear of having to watch you die, which is why I pushed for your banishment. But now... I fear I have still lost you. And that it's my fault.”

“Well, admittedly it was both of our faults. But who says you lost me?”

Merlin walked over and sat down next to the prince, _his_ prince.

“Huh?” Arthur turned to him and watched him with wide eyes.

“I'm still here, right?” With a shrug he offered the prince a small smile.

“I guess you are.”

Silence fell back over the room. Merlin kept his eye on Arthur, who looked down on his hands.

“I need to ask you one more thing”, Merlin eventually interrupted the quiet. “Why did you come here then?”

“Because I didn't want to believe that everything we shared, we've been through was all history”, he admitted quietly. “Because... Because I need you.” At his last blurt, Arthur looked up at Merlin.

“Like, to clean your pants and muck out your stables?”, he asked back, raising his eyebrow critically.

“Merlin!”, Arthur groaned and boxed his arm, hard. “I'm being honest, and open and I deserve that you don't treat me and my feelings with your horrible humour. And besides, you were the one that...”

No, Merlin did not want to listen to Arthur's rant. There were two way to shut the prince up. Doing that with Magic would probably result in an argument like the last time Arthur was here, so there was only one thing for Merlin to do.

With an exaggerated eye roll, Merlin put his hands on Arthur's shoulder, leaned in and pressed their lips together.

Arthur stilled immediately, rigid under Merlin's touch and the longer that lasted, the more Merlin wished he hadn't done it. But, just as Merlin was about to break away, Arthur wrapped one arm around Merlin's waist and pulled him closer, kissing him back and it was about the most amazing feeling; so much more amazing than Merlin had imagined it.

Everything was just exactly right: Arthur's lips were so soft and tasted of apple; the arm around Merlin's waist that held him tight; the smell that Merlin had missed so much after having basked in it for years; the flutter in his stomach... Everything was just as it was supposed to be.

Merlin lost track of time, he had no idea how long they were wrapped together, when they eventually did break away. Both of them wide-eyed, flushed cheeks and lost for words, they just stared at each other.

“Uhm...”, Merlin eventually hummed, when he felt like the tense silence needed to be broken, “yeah.”

“Yeah”, Arthur agreed, and a small smile played at the corners of his mouth. “Not what I expected when I came here.”

“Maybe it's to late to ask now, but what did you expect?”

“I don't know”, he shrugged, “something along the lines of closure.”

“This doesn't feel like it's the end, though”, Merlin grinned, very aware of the strong arm still holding tightly onto his waist.

“It does not”, Arthur agreed, but the smile that was developing dropped as quickly as it had come.

“What's wrong?”

“Everything is! I have to get back to Camelot, a place where you're forbidden under threat of execution to ever enter again. And if I'm being honest, I'm not over the whole magic thing just yet myself.”

Merlin just wanted to cup his face again, and pull him into a tight hug. But Arthur was right, there was quite a bit to figure out and he justifiably still had questions and reservations, that deserved to be answered.

“I understand.” On the one hand, Merlin didn't want to let go of Arthur, maybe never again. On the other hand, maybe the prince just needed some space, which is why as soon as the arm around Merlin's torso disappeared, he too dropped his hands and moved a bit away. “How about dinner?”, he threw in, “I could do with some food.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Great.” Merlin got up and headed into the little kitchen nook. “You're lucky, mother was just here, meaning my pantry's as full as it's ever...” He couldn't finish his sentence. Before Merlin knew what happened, Arthur pulled him close and their lips met once again. It didn't take him long though to give in, give in to the hand in his hair, the hand travelling down his back and the soft lips, pressing hard against his own. Merlin wrapped his own arms around Arthur, held on for dear life as the passions grew. As sweet and wonderful and romantic their first kiss had been, this one was passionate, longing; all the feelings that had been bottled up for months, for years, found their release as Arthur's lips trailed Merlin's jaw, his neckline, before kissing his lips again and again and again.


	5. Chapter 5

When Arthur woke up, he found himself in a tiny bed, with Merlin wrapped up in his arms, lying half on top of him, still fast asleep. He couldn't help the smile, as he cautiously reached out to brush the unruly black hair back, without waking the warlock.

No, not just any warlock, the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk this earth, if one were to believe the stories about Emrys. Sure, last night was magical, to say the least. But Arthur had the very distinct feeling that it didn't have to do with Merlin's supernatural abilities. It was more likely due to the fact that all these feelings he had bottled up for almost as long as he knew Merlin, found their release.

Yes, there was still plenty to worry about, still plenty of issues to tackle and things Arthur had to learn and to forgive. But all that didn't seem too important right now.

Carefully, Arthur unwrapped himself from Merlin and climbed out of bed. He couldn't help but press a soft kiss on Merlin's forehead though, who was still fast asleep. As quiet as he could, Arthur tiptoed through the small room to collect his clothes, that were strewn all over, carelessly thrown around during last night's outburst of passions. His shirt was nowhere to be found, but his pants were enough for now.

As quietly as he could, as to not wake Merlin, he helped himself to the contents of the cupboards. It was a lot sparser than what the royal kitchens had to offer, but good enough.

“So, we're just helping ourselves to strange pantries, are we?”

Merlin stood in the bedroom door, also not wearing much more than his trousers and Arthur's breath might have hitched at the sight.

“Well”, he cleared his throat, “I believe that as your Prince I have the right to.”

“You're not my Prince”, Merlin shot back. “I'm no longer of Camelot, remember?” The warlock pushed closely past Arthur, very closely, brushing up against the Prince, who lost the fight against the blush.

“Let us be honest, though”, Arthur rolled his eyes, “even when you were of Camelot you didn't care too much for my royal standing, did you?”

“You got that all wrong.” With a smirk, Merlin turned towards him. “It was not royalty in general I opposed, it was one specific prat I didn't care for.”

Arthur had to pull all his focus to keep his eyes from dropping down, wandering the surprisingly toned body. “That did sound a little different last night, though.”

“Because that specific prat isn't mine to serve any more.”

“Lucky you, then.” Arthur was almost embarrassed at how hoarse his voice sounded. But not for long; before he knew it was happening, Merlin had closed the last few centimetres between their lips. And what started as a gentle and chaste kiss soon deepened, grew more passionate and longing, as Merlin pinned Arthur against the wall, his hands travelling up and down Arthur's bare chest. Arthur himself held tightly onto Merlin's shoulder, with one hand in his hair, Arthur could guide Merlin's face to deepen the kiss even more.

Before long, they would have probably disappeared in the bedroom again, if the main door hadn't flown open.

“For heaven's sake, Merlin, I know he's a stubborn prat, but you can't just go and kidnap Arthur, the king is... Oh.” Gwaine stilled so suddenly at the sight of Arthur and Merlin's embrace that the rest of the knights walked right into him before their jaws, too, dropped.

Merlin and Arthur jumped apart. Arthur didn't look at Merlin, but he hoped that he wasn't the only one blushing like an overripe tomato.

“First of all”, Merlin stated, “do none of you knights know how to knock on a damn door? And secondly, I didn't take him, he just showed up. Wait.” He turned to Arthur. “You left Camelot without telling anybody, not even them?” He pointed at the knights who were still frozen to the spot, trying to work out what they had just witnessed. “You dollophead, it's like you want your father to kill me.”

“I'm sorry, I acted on a whim”, Arthur tried to explain itself, but Merlin just waved him off and turned to the knights.

“Well then, welcome to my abode again. Come on in, there's enough food for everybody.”


	6. Chapter 6

“What were you thinking?” As angry as Arthur had ever seen him, Uther paced around his son, currently cowered into a chair. “You cannot disappear like that, without telling anyone where you went! If it weren't for Alistair noticing your disappearance and the knights searching for you, who knows what could have happened to you!” Finally, Uther stopped his infuriating pacing and locked eyes with Arthur. “You are the future king of Camelot, you just cannot do as you please, thinking there'd be no consequences! Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes, father, abundantly so.”

“Good. See yourself to Gaius then”, Uther ended his rant and gestured towards the gash on Arthur's cheek. It wasn't anything too bad, but riding back to Camelot, he overlooked a branch hanging off a tree, slapping him right across the face. It was admittedly nothing less than deserved for everything Arthur had pulled these last two days.

After the knights had interrupted him and Merlin, their shocked surprise didn't last too long. It was Gwaine, that cried out a “finally!” before the knights, who apparently had been waiting for Merlin and Arthur to sort these feelings out, were all smiles as Leon cockily collected a coin from each knight.

“We had a bet going”, Percival explained, before remembering who he was talking to. “My lord”, he quickly added.

Merlin found this entire business to be entirely hilarious. It was not to say that Arthur didn't enjoy Merlin's laughter, a sound he had heard way too little over the last few months, but the warlock didn't seem to properly get the gravity of this situation.

After deciding on them having found Arthur in the woods, where he was on a spontaneous hunting spree, they left the hut and Merlin behind. The last thing Arthur had seen of him, was the warlock waving after the knights as they rode away. It was then, that Arthur looked back, that the unsuspecting branch caught his cheek; a cut that Gaius was now inspecting.

“It doesn't look too bad, I shall only clean it, so it doesn't get infected.” From his cupboard with the copious amounts of tinctures and potions, Gaius got a purple vial. “This might sting a bit”, he apologized before dabbing the wound with a cloth soaked in that liquid.

And it not only stung a bit, it hurt worse than actually being hit in the face with a branch. “OUCH!”, he cried out, not able to help himself.

“I'm sorry, sire, but it is necessary”, Gaius shrugged apologetically. “But you're all done now. For the next three days see me once in the morning and once in the evening, so I can make sure it stays clean.”

“Thank you Gaius”, Arthur smiled and motioned to leave.

“Anytime. On a different note: how is Merlin?”

Of course the physician knew that Arthur and the knights had lied. “He is well”, Arthur reported, “and misses you dearly.”

“I should hope so”, the man laughed. “Now then, run along sire. Oh, but please...” With the sudden memory, Gaius searched his pocket and got out a coin. “Would you please give this to Leon?”

“You were in on the bet.” Arthur wasn't sure whether he meant it as a question, a statement or an accusation, but he was definitely shocked.

“Guilty as charged.” With a meek smile, the physician held the coin out to Arthur.

“I'll make sure he receives it.”


	7. Chapter 7

And so life went on. Arthur's disappearance act was soon forgotten by Uther and Arthur was back to his duties. At least physically. His mind was everywhere except the works at hand, something his father luckily did not seem to notice. His friends did, but they also knew what had really happened. They knew what Arthur had d one and what he had to leave behind.

"Why don't you want to go and visit him again?", Morgana asked a few days past the incident.

As hard as he tried, Arthur didn't have a proper answer for that. Yes, he wanted to see Merlin again, the excited flutter in his stomach was a force that tempted Arthur multiple times a day to ride away. The voice of worry and anxiety in his head was louder, though. And for good reason. Uther wasn’t wrong; as the Crown Prince, Arthur couldn’t just take off for a romantic getaway, let alone for a servant who was also a sorcerer. Which wasn’t anything Arthur was over yet. All these secrets, everything Merlin had kept from him… Until Arthur had an idea of how to deal with all this properly, that damn smitten glow in his heart, soul or whichever bodypart was responsible for this disgustingly mushy feeling had to shut up.


	8. Chapter 8

With the final bottle cleaned, Gaius had finished his work for the day. It had been a long and excruciatingly exhausting day and the physician never felt his age more.

“I have seen that done faster. Am I to believe you are losing your touch?”

At the sound of that voice, Gaius almost dropped the freshly cleaned bottle. Oh, his exhaustion must be playing tricks on him, there was no way that Merlin stood in his chambers.

“I must either be dead or dreaming. Not even my dear idiot is dumb enough to sneak back into Camelot.”

“Wow. What a welcome,” Merlin scoffed, before shooting Gaius this wide beaming smile as the first tears glinted in the boy's eyes and all of a sudden all the energy that Gaius had been drained of only a moment ago was back as he hurried over and embraced Merlin.

“I have missed you, my boy,” Gaius sighed and the tears started streaming down his face.

“I missed you more.” Merlin was outright sobbing as he held onto Gaius for dear life and as if he never wanted to let go of him. Neither did Gaius; losing his dear boy once was more than enough.

“What are you doing here?” Gaius eventually asked once the first shock and round of tears had subsided.

“I came home,” he smiled.

“That's not enough of an answer. If Uther finds out you're here, you're dead. So let me ask again: what are you doing here?”

“And I'll answer again, I came home. I have spent the last half year hiding away in a cabin, stewing in my own misery and self-blame. Something had to change. Now, the smart, natural or whatever you want to call it, choice would have been to move away, start somewhere new and build a new life. But how can I do that? You are here, as are Gwen, Morgana, the knights... and Arthur. Camelot is the place of my destiny. I know it is dangerous, but does that really change that much about my life prior to everybody finding out?”

Yes, Gaius had to admit that Merlin had a point with his argument. If the physician hadn't been grey haired before Merlin came into his life, he would have gone grey in worry within the first months of the boy being here. Trying to talk Merlin out of staying would be fruitless; the powerful Emrys was nothing if not an headstrong idiot.

“At least I will know where you are,” Gaius smiled. “And I don't have to wait for you to kidnap Guinevere so I can ask Sir Leon to take a letter along so I can tell you that you're an idiot.”

“Yeah,” Merlin laughed, “I much rather hear you calling me this in person.”


	9. Chapter 9

It was getting late, but Morgana was still caught in the throes of her book. Until a rustling sound just by her door startled her.

“Gwen? Is that you?” It was almost impossible it would be her handmaiden; Gwen had gone home long ago. She slowly reached for the candelabra; Morgana was nothing if not a fighter.

“Please don't hit me!” The voice definitely was not Gwen's and certainly unexpected.

“Merlin?”

“Hi.” With a meek grin her friend stepped into the candle light.

“Oh my!” With a wide smile she all but ran for a hug. “What are you doing here? You're not here to kidnap me, are you?”

“No”, he laughed, and what a soul-soothing sound that was. “I am done hiding and moping around. I know that my place is here in Camelot. Besides, I can't leave my favourite sorceress alone in Uther's castle.”

“That is wonderful to hear”, she beamed. “Let us just hope that the all powerful and mighty Emrys knows how to hide himself.”

“I think I might do alright,” he winked, “I have the support of the court physician, the knights of Camelot, the smartest servant in this building and the ward of king Uther on my side.”

“And the crown prince,” she reminded him with a pat to the arm.

“Here's to hoping.” He put on a brave smile but the fear was clearly visible, even in the small light of the candle. “Well, Miss Morgana, with me staying here there is a lot for you to look forward to.” With that the fear dropped and the grin spread from cheek to cheek. And before Morgana could ask what he was talking about, his eyes gleamed golden and from his hands rose a green smoke but as soon as it was come, if wavered out into thin air, leaving nothing but the sweet smell of mayflowers.

“Yes,” Morgana smiled, taking a deep breath of that wonderful smell. “I am sure that the most powerful sorcerer can teach me a thing or two.”

“Oh yes,” Merlin laughed. “He just might.”


End file.
